Slo
Posilstvo - je to res normalno kar se dogaja ?!
Posilstvo oz. ena izmed tabu
tema 21. Stoletja o kateri se premalo govori. Slišati je le veliko izjav,
podobnih tej: »Kaj se bom pogovarjala o tem, to se meni itak ne more zgoditi?«
Dekleta pa ste prepričane v to? Morda bi bilo bolje, da pomislite še enkrat.
Tudi sama sem bila vedno mnenja, to se mi ne more zgoditi, to se v Sloveniji ne
dogaja, to vidimo samo v hollywoodskih filmih in podobno, resnica pa je žal
daleč daleč od tega. Posilstvo se lahko zgodi vsepovsod, v lokalih, na cesti,
na morju, tudi doma (ja tudi če imate z partnerjem spolni odnos katerega ne
želite in ga on izvede » na silo » se to smatra kot posilstvo!). Drži se tega:
Nihče te ne sme prisiliti v dejanja katera ne želiš, ne glede na to kdo je ta
oseba! Življenje je samo in zgolj tvoje! V šoli in nasplošno vsepovsod je
premalo govora o tem in se punce preprosto ne zavedajo kaj jih lahko doleti
ravno takrat, ko bi to najmanj pričakovale in po vseh možnostih celo od osebe
od katere nikoli ne bi pričakovale tega.Glede na tiste statistične
podatke, ki jih imamo je posilstvo zelo pogosto KAZNIVO DEJANJE. V veliko
primerih se zgodi iz strani starejših moških nad puncami, ki se same niso
sposobne braniti pred takimi, pa tudi če se žal to ravno ne pomaga, včasih pa
je žal zravn tudi tako imenovana »posiljevalska droga« , ki jo lahko nevede
zaužijete na kakšni divji zabavi, ko se tega niti ne zavedate, rezult tega pa
je žal v 90% primerov neželjen spolni odnos oz. posilstvo. Vendar gledano iz
psihološkega vidika žrtve tega nikoli v življenju nikomur ne povejo, veliko se
jih po travmatičnem dogodku zapre vase in pade globoko v brezno depresije ali
pa si celo vzame svoje življenje. Za posilstvo je značilno da moški želi
pokazati svojo moč in prevlado nad žensko, katere ne more imeti oz. si dekle
spolnega odnosa z njim preprosto ne želi. Vsaka ima pravico reči NE in to naj
bi vsak normalni moški upošteval. Takih moških je žal vedno več, obnašajo se
normalno, zapeljejo dekle potem pa na tak in drugačen način dosežejo svoj
namen.
Ampak sprašujem se zakaj ?!
Vsaka ženska ima pravico do lastne odločitve kaj si želi v življenju in česar
ne. Vsaka ima svoja čustva, svoje želje in potrebe, nismo manj vredne od vas
moških in zato si ne zaslužimo, da z nami delate kar si želite, NIKAKOR ! Ko
pišem to objavo mi po glavi roji 1000 in ena stvar. Spolni napadi oz. posilstva
se žal dogajajo vsak dan okoli nas, vendar to sami ne opazimo, dokler sami tega
ne doživimo. Ja tudi SAMA sem bila posiljena in to s strani osebe od katere
nebi NIKOLI pričakovala kaj takšnega in o tem mi ni težko govoriti, ker prva
stvar da greš naprej čez tako travmatično izkušnjo je da spregovoriš na glas,
poveš ljudem, ki jim zaupaš, najbolj pametna stvar pa je da to osebo prijaviš
ne glede na vse! Take stvari se žal nikoli ne bo dalo povsem ustaviti ampak
zmanjšamo pa lahko številke. Žalostno je, da kar 90% posilstev ni prijavljenih
policiji, ženske niste same, ista oseba lahko ponovi isto stvar še pri kateri
drugi, dajmo si pomagat pa ustavit take.Nobena ženska na tem svetu
ni vredna da prestaja take travmatične izkušnje, nikoli in nikdar, vsaj ne
namerno. Moški pomislite malo še na ženske, ne da mislite samo na svoje
egoistične riti (nekatere izjeme so izvzete) , dokazujte svojo prevlado kako
drugače ne pa da tako rečeno napadete žensko, jo posilite in po možnosti še
pretepete ?! Niste carji,legende al kakorkoli se sami poimenujete, daaaaleč od
tega.. strahopetci ste in ne prenesete zavrnitve od dekleta (Žal ne more biti
vedno vsaka vaša!) Kaj bi si mislile vaše mame, če bi to izvedele ? Verjetno ne
bi bile ponosne na vas ?! Dekle s takimi dejanji odvrnete od sebe in žal še od
ostalih moških, ker izgubi zaupanje v vse. In kako opravičujejo moški to
dejanje: »Sama si hotela.« Ja seveda čakala sem na to da boš to naredil sajres,
pamet v glavo fantje, ŽENSKA NIKOLI IN NIKDAR NE BO SAMA KRIVA DA SO JO
POSILILI !! ali pa »Nisem se mogel zadržati.« No vsaka stvar ima neke meje, žal
vedno ne moraš dobiti stvari, ki si jo želiš. Preprost primer: Že dolgo si
želiš avto ampak si ga ne moraš privoščiti, torej ga boš ukradel? Neboš, kar ti
lahko da vedeti če te ženska noče, pusti jo, nerabiš ji uničit življenja s
svojim dejanjem ! Kaj če dekle zanosi med takim spolnim odnosom, želiš celo
življenje nositi na vesti to, da si je vzela življenje zaradi tebe, ker ni
vedela kaj naj stori ? Ali pa da je naredila splav in tako ubila otroka, ker ni
mogla prenesti da bi mu bil oče posiljevalec ?
Mislim da si nihče pri zdravi
pameti ne bi želel tega. Polagam vam na srce drage moje, pazite nase,
spregovorite o temu naj vas ne bo strah in nikoli ne pustite da bi moški
dokazoval svojo moč nad vami, čimbolj stran od takih (tudi uredu moški
obstajajo). Posilstvo pri ženski povzroča šok, sram, strah, občutek
umazanosti, nakoncu sama sebe ne maraš več (tako se trenutno počutim tudi
sama). Zaradi same »teže« dejanja so posledice premagovanja te travmatične in
predvsem NEPOTREBNE izkušnje, je »okrevanje« lahko dolgotrajno in težko, če
misliš da sama nemoreš premagati tega se obrni na ustanove, ki pomagajo
žrtvam spolnega nasilja.Pogosto je da se zlorabljeni
počutijo krive, ker jih storilec pripravi do tega da se tako
počutijo. Da pa objavi dodam še nek konec. Posilstvo se lahko zgodi
prav tako moškim kot ženskam, vendar sem se v tej objavi posvetila predvsem
težavi ženske, ker zadnje čase slišim toliko zgodb ter iz lastnih
izkušenj se mi to ne zdi niti malo normalno ! Še enkrat: Kar se bo
dogajalo s tvojim odločaš samo TI !!
-with love-
Sara.
Ang
Rape – is it
really »normal« for it to happen?
Rape, also known as a sensitive theme or Tabu theme of the 21. Century,
needs to be discussed more and taken seriously. The only thing we really hear
about is people saying things like: »Why should I talk about in and try to
understand it when it obviously can't happen to me?«. Ladies,… are you really
sure about that? Maybe it's for the best to think this through. Even I had
doubts that that could someday happen to me too. I was in delusion about it and
thinking about how something like that can absolutely not happen in Slovenia;
only in Hollywood, but the thing is – it can happen to anyone all over the
world and not just women. Rape can occur anytime, anywhere and by anyone. It
can happen in a bar, on the streets, on the beach, even in the safety of our
own home. Even your own partner can cause it by force – yes that counts as rape
too believe it or not. Stick to this: No one is allowed to force you in to
something you're not comfortable with no matter who that person may be! You
live your own life and you get to decide what you want to do with it, not them!
In school and basically everywhere else there's way too little discussion
about this sensitive subject and people are pretty much not aware what can happen
to them especially when they least expect it and the rapist could be a person
they never thought could do something so vile to them, yet alone if the person
was someone they trusted. Based on the statistical information that we have,
rape is in most cases a CRIME. In most occasions the people that cause it are
older individuals, mostly men that prey on young girls because they are an easy
target and can't fight back, especially if a rookie (party rape drug) is
involved. You can get this at various clubs and parties and the outcome of it
is in 90% cases not wanted sexual interaction A.K.A. rape. Despite all of this
and the victims psychology view, they never really tell anyone about it in fear
of being judged and humiliated even more than they already feel like. Most
victims tend to keep to themselves after this tragic and traumatic event, most
of them even fall down the pits of depression because if it, some even take
their own life. When the rapist is male, he tends to express his power and dominance over
his victim, and when he hears the word »no« he still goes in to it because he
simply doesn't understand the meaning of this word. He tends to get upset over
rejection and can't handle it, leading to rape. What every normal man
individual understands clearly, the rapist doesn't take to acknowledgement
because it's not up to their expectations and desire. But the thing that I'm
asking myself is: »Why?!« Every woman has the right to make their own decisions
in what she wants in life and what she doesn't. Every woman has her needs and
emotions, we are NOT sexual objects that men can take for their advantage and
take what they like. NOT IN ANY WAY!
As I'm writing this post, one too many thoughts are running through my
mind. Sexual assaults are sadly taking place every day all around us, even if
we don't notice it until we get to experiance it ourselves. Even I am the
victim of rape. I got to experience this traumatic thing and the person who
caused it was someone I NEVER expected it from and it's extremely hard for me
to talk about this, but the right thing to do is to move on from it. You tell
this to the people you trust, who know how to listen to you. The smartest thing
to do is to let people know who did it and report the rapist no matter what!
Unfortunately, things like rape are never gonna be fully preventable but the
numbers of victims CAN decrease. More than 90 %
of rape crimes are not reported or not taken completely seriously. A
rapist can do this to other people too if not reported and taken to custody.
Help us stop them for good. No one deserves to go trought all these traumatic
experiences, ever. Not on purpose. Men, think about womens feelings for once,
don't thing only on your own egotistic ass ( this goes only for rapists).
Express your dominance in a different way and do NOT attack an inocent woman
for it. Have some respect and control your needs. You are NOT a »legend« or
»cool« for doing it. You are COWARDS who can't take rejection well, who don't
understand that wen a woman says no she means NO. A woman does not belong to
you. We are not your objects. You don't own us. What would your dear mother
think if she knew what you did? She shurely wouldn't be proud at all.
You are not doing anything right with rape. You take away a woman's trust
in you and other men that might actually be really respectful to them and not
just pretend. Get it trough your narrow minded head that no woman is »Asking
for it«. Yeah sure, I was waiting for you to do it, I really did! That's all I
ever wanted! (Note sarcasm).
Get it together…a woman will NEVER BE and NEVER WAS the one at fault that
she was raped. It was NOT her fault that she got raped, it was YOU, the one who
committed this crime A.K.A. the RAPIST. Don't you even dare to say »Oh, I
couldn't help myself«. That's the same thing as saying »Oh, I really want this
car but I can't afford it so I might as well steal it«. Guess what? You
wouldn't steal a car so why don't you just leave women alone and try to not
ruin her life and your life in the process. What if you got that girl pregnant
and she doesn't know how to cope with it? What if she takes her life and the
unborn kids life with it? Do you want to be haunted by your dumb actions for
the rest of your life? Mostly women have abortions because they can't live with
the fact that that kid's dad is a rapist. I'm pretty sure that no one in the
right mind would want that to happen.Ladies, take care of yourselves, speak about it and don't be scared. Never
allow men to take advantage of you. Stay away from men like that and allow nice
men in your lives because they still exist. Not all men are egotistical
assholes ;)
Rape causes shock, embarrassment and the feeling of dirtiness in women. In
the end you don't like yourself anymore because of it (I am currently feeling
like that myself). Because of this »weight« that sits on my shoulders, I am
recovering from this traumatic-NOT DESIREABLE experiance really slowly.If you think you can't recover yourself, please turn to organizations who
are willing to help rape victims. It's extremely rare for the victim to feel
guilt because the rapist is making them feel that way.To end this post, rape can happen to anyone – male or female, but I chose
to write about the female victims in it, because of the amount of stories I was
hearing and because of my personal experiences. This isn't normal at all. I
repeat: What happens to your life is in your hands and YOU are the only one who
decides what happens to it.
-with love-
Sara.
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